To the Sea

One night, Juanita Fernandez and her two friends gathered together and reflected on a writing of a Carmelite saint. The three of them dreamed of becoming Carmelite nuns but it was Juanita who had the strongest desire. They were gathered around a bonfire just by the seashore where the sound of the waves made a beautiful backdrop to their holy conversation.

Then Juanita looked to the sea and remarked about it. It was infinite, she said, an infinity which reminded her of the Infinite God. She realized that this passing world could not satisfy her soul—a soul which could only find its rest in the Infinite—in God alone.

During the last ball she attended in the world, her admirer, learning of her entrance into the convent, said that he felt sorry that she never found anyone worthy to attend to her, to love her. Juanita, amused at him, smiled at the heartbroken young man and told him, “I do not enter the convent because I haven’t found love, but because I have found Love.”

She then gave him a final glance, her last beautiful serene smile, to etch upon the young man’s mind that she has found Someone better than him. And then she leaves on a carriage. The young man is left flabbergasted, pondering on her words.

It was thus for us religious, who once lived in the world, that we frolicked on land, enjoying its pleasures, amusements and being exposed to society. But amidst this tumult, there was this Voice within the depths of our souls calling us, telling us that there is something more to all this; that there is something larger than the life we know.

It was a Voice that spoke without words but with the ebbs of the sea, the melody of the waves plunging onto the seashore. It was to the seashore we would go—the warmth of the breeze, the joyful splashing of the waves, the awe-inspiring beauty of the horizon, and the solitude of the sea. The more we went there, to that seaside solitude, the more we understood. The whispering breeze, the merry ebbing of the waves, the warmth of the sun, and the silence of the sea were but one Voice that became clearer and clearer. It was the Voice of the Infinite—the voice of God.

To the sea we sought God—we sought Love. But then we were content to stand by the shore and have fun with the waves. We never dared plunge into the depths of the sea. We were still tied to the world we loved and which loved us in return. It was to a trifling love that we clung to and not to the infinite Love in the sea.

To the sea we saw the rising and setting of the Sun on the horizon, the waxing and waning of the Moon and the brilliance of the Stars in the black velvet sky. But to the world we would return, looking among creatures a semblance of these heavenly lights.

As pilgrims in this world, we do find people who somehow resemble the stars in the night. Humans as we are we are drawn to these people, who like stars guide us in a certain way. Like Juanita, we were even unconsciously drawn to those who seem to complement us, those in whom the image of the Star of the Sea shines in their eyes.

Juanita, realizing the distraction caused in her soul by her admirer, runs to the sea and beholds it. The waves are in tumult. The sea has become tempestuous.

And so our souls get submerged in a tempest when we turn our gaze away from the sea. We search for something else—or even someone—even though the answer to our longings lies beyond the horizon.

Yet even in this state, we have made compromises. Innocent they may seem but dangerous in every respect. Juanita almost made such a compromise. What would have happened if she had entertained her admirer too long? What would have happened to her if she had taken the young man’s hand when he offered to dance with her on that party that night? What would have happened, we might ask? One false move and it could have altered her destiny.

And so we enter into such a test: to stay on land with an earthly creature or sail beyond the endless sea. But we realize that our soul is too big—too immortal, too eternal—to encompass a mere earthly creature. The sea breeze comes and the song of the sea once again resounds in a beautiful symphony in our hearts.

So we leave everything behind—our life, our loved ones, everything we once knew—to answer the surgings of the sea: “Deep is calling on deep in the roar of waters. Your torrents and your waves sweep over me.” (Ps. 42:8)

The depths of the sea—the depths of God—call upon the depths of our souls. And so we jump onto the boat and sail towards the horizon. The warm sea breeze—the Holy Spirit—blows upon our sails, directing us to the right path. The Star of the Sea—the Immaculate—shines in the sky guiding us. We behold her beauty. No earthly creature surpasses her. We are enamoured of her who will lead us to her Son, the Sun of Justice.

As we sail towards the horizon, the azure sky turns into a red and orange haze as the sun slowly sets. Its rays embellish us, the warmth of God’s love envelopes us. We then fully realize that our souls are capable of a Love that encompasses everything. A Love as bright as the Sun. A Love as deep as the sea.

As the Holy Spirit blows upon our sails, we journey in this new life in total self-giving to God guided by Mary, the Star of the Sea who lights up our path. It is a new life of Love, of sacrifice and penance. It is a new life laden with mystery that seams beautifully with mundanity of everyday life. It is a life as calm as the deep azure waters yet at times turbulent as a tempest. It is a new life that sails towards eternity… a new life as infinite as the sea.

And so Juanita Fernandez enters the Carmel in Los Andes. She becomes Sr. Teresa of Jesus. Her journey in this sea of life begins anew in the cloister, the “secret garden” of Carmel. The sun has embellished her with its last warm rays. It is setting behind the mountains of the Andes. It slowly disappears as the day gives way to the night. And she enters into the dark with the stars shining bright and her soul aflame with Divine Love.

Yet lo and behold, the path before her is short. The Star of the Sea has shown to her the fate that awaits her. She is to face a terrible tempest. She is to spend only eleven months in that beautiful garden. The Shadow of Death looms upon her. But then dawn breaks as the Moring Star rises, showing her the way. Then her Bridegroom comes, taking her with Him to the everlasting shores beyond the horizon, beyond the sea…

So here we are, standing on earthly shores. The world behind us is calling, luring us back to its fold. But a Voice is calling, the voice is calling…

To the sea then we must go.